Encouragement for Those Who Struggle
16 Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me,
For I am desolate and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses!
18 Look on my affliction and my pain,
And forgive all my sins.- Psalm 25:16-18
All my life, I’ve known struggle.
Oh, I’ve not had the hardest life by any stretch, and I know there are plenty of people in this world who have suffered much worse than I have in my 39 years of existence. Yet, the thing about this human experience is that it is subjective, and that in turn makes each person’s struggle relative to their own experience.
As a young man in nursing school, we were taught that we should never assume to know the severity of another person’s pain. I’ve since taken that admonishment to heart as a reminder that every person’s struggle is unique, so I try to have compassion for others and the struggles they go through, no matter how they seemingly compare to my own.
Most recently, I’ve had the humbling and at times humiliating experience of being brought low by a chronic illness. I now intimately understand why my nursing instructors were so adamant about having compassion for those in pain.
There’s really no way to relate to another human what it is like to live every moment of every day in some sort of chronic pain. And, while it is possible to paint on a brave face most days, inevitably there will come those times when you are broken and beaten down, and must impose upon the patience of those around you to grant you a little grace while you recede into yourself until you can keep it together again.
When you’re going through something like this, where every day is a continual struggle to make it through the next hour, the next minute, the next few seconds; in these times, it is inevitable that you will begin to question the point of it all.
“Why God? Why me? Why here? Why now? Why this thing that you’ve cast upon me?” You pray for relief, you look for a sign, you ask for a healing miracle…
And the days go by, and weeks, and months, then years – and you begin to doubt your faith. Moreover, you begin to despair. You doubt there’s ever going to be any positive resolution to your condition, and it all seems so pointless to have to suffer day in and day out in such a meaningless way.
And you ask yourself, “Where is God in all of this?” Your heart breaks, and God’s comfort and love seem so, so far away that you feel as though they never really existed in your life at all.
At least, that’s how I have felt, many, many times over these last few years.
Right now, I’m reading Donald Miller’s book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
The entire book is a sort of self-deprecating essay examining the art of creating fiction as a metaphor for the greater undertaking of writing the story of our own lives. In yet a broader application of the same metaphor, Donald relates how he has observed that we are constantly trying to live comfortable, unremarkable, and utterly meaningless stories, and how God is continually whispering a greater, grander, more beautiful and endearing story to our hearts and souls. If we would only listen, we’d hear the story written for us by the greatest Author ever known; a story written just for us, an epic that allows us to play the great role we were intended for since time began.
At some point early on in the book, Donald attends an intense three-day seminar on story creation given by Robert McKee, who turns out to be a somewhat curmudgeonly yet entirely earnest and brilliant teacher on the topic. McKee tells his students, “You put your characters through hell. You put them through hell. That’s the only way we change.”
Over the course of the book, Miller comes to realize the truth of what our flesh and spirit struggle with; that is, we are by our nature in the flesh complacent, lazy, and drawn toward familiar comforts. We utterly fear and despise change, never mind discomfort or pain. It is only through the shock of intense and often painful experience that we become who and what we are meant to be.
As I started writing this, I was listening to my infant son crying at the top of his lungs, because I’d put him down for his afternoon nap and he wanted to sit in daddy’s lap instead. What his five-month-old mind does not realize and cannot comprehend is that he needs something that he doesn’t want at this time.
It’s more fun to be up with daddy, gumming his toys, listening to classical music and hearing the “tap-tap-tap” of the laptop keys across the room. But his daddy knows when it’s best to make him lay down, make him be still, and get him to switch gears for a while. He doesn’t like it at the time, but later he’ll be fine with it after he realizes the actual benefits of his nap.
I believe in many ways we are much like infants to our heavenly Father. Our cries must be like infant cries to Him, breaking His heart just as it breaks my heart each time I hear my son cry. Yet, our God wants us to live a better story, the one He has written for us. In this regard, He also knows that sometimes we must be allowed to experience a little suffering in order for us to change.
If you are suffering right now and at the end of your rope, I know this may be of little comfort to you. I can tell you in my own experience that there is nothing more trite than being told in the midst of intense sorrow and pain that “it’s all for the best”. That feels like a slap in the face in the midst of your trial, and I know it is absolutely no comfort at all.
So, the best thing I can do for you (and often it’s the only really helpful thing any of us can do for a friend who is suffering besides just being there for them) is to pray what Peter prayed for some two millenia ago:
“But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”
- 1 Peter 5:10 (emphasis mine)
17 Responses to “Encouragement for Those Who Struggle”
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oh my gosh! this is so inspriring and uplifting. even though at the moment i feel as if i cant get anything done and even though i dont even know how im going to do it (my assignments, exams, tests…im in my last year of high school), i know that there all this feeling is just for now… and with my God, by my side i will pull through. No matter how hard it may seem, together we will be able to do it. Thank you so much for sharing this stroy, i really appreciate it so much.
You’re welcome, PT.
And remember, you can do all things through Christ. :)
thank you. Last week was the most humbling week of my life. I too have struggled with an illness that had it been detected early, it would have merely been a bump in the road. But it wasn’t and it hasn’t been easy. It resulted in two miscarriages, countless thousands of dollars lost in medical bills and a need to continually control it with ongoing medications. My husband and I both lost our jobs and have struggled under this debt for some time. We are losing our home and desperately trying to find somewhere to move our family that we can afford while caring for our 2 kids. On my 35th birthday I had to go ask for assistance to keep the lights on…we have already shaved off every expense (except the internet for work) and are eating beans and rice daily. I haven’t been able to feed my family meat for almost a month now. I found myself thinking why am I in this? why do I have to start over at 35? How in the world can God be in this??? But he has assured me He is and He will finish the work He started in me. I was looking for anything encouraging when I found your site and that scripture leapt off the page. Thank you and God bless.
You’re welcome, Leah!
Thanks for the reminder Mike. I know that in my own journey when times seemed darkest it was my faith that the Lord would never put anything in front of me that I couldn’t overcome which kept me grounded and at peace.
Having that comfort truly brings me a “next” level of strength and empowers me to help others who might be suffering from the same type of issues that I was.
Keep rockin my brother,
John
You’re welcome, John!
Im in such a difficult place financially and thought that my moving to my present city was in the Lords will, however financially it doesnt seem that way. Im very active in serving the Lord! I have great faith in all other areas but finance. I know the Lord is trying to teach me to trust Him with everything but when nothing changes after I have had so much faith then what? When the only reason I moved away from my family and friends was to go back to school to finish my nursing degree and be closer to the church so I could serve more. Nothing has changed and the miracle I’ve prayed for hasnt came! Im so discouraged now that I just feel angry. Ive been trying to finish this degree since 2003! Im a single mother though so its difficult trying to go to college and pay all my bills. I had a plan this time however I can only do the possible while God does the impossible. Ive did my part and now Im gonna have to quit school again to go back to work full time again! I dont understand! Im trying to still hope that a financial miracle occurs but if it doesnt then I just moved and did all this for nothing again while the faith Im trying to teach my children to have is receding. I feel exactly as your letter states and I have repented to God for my unbelief. I only hope that something happens to increase my faith instead of diminish it. I have been through many worse things, the death of a newborn, divorce, and many more so I dont know why this area makes me stress so horribly!
Yes it is only when we are suffering that we turn to God. if only we would learn to trust Him> he knows better.
Thank you for sharing.
Timely. Exactly on point. The words were the specific ones I needed today… the ones He had for me to read. Thanks for writing this.
Hi Mike! I have been through a storm like no other for the past year. I’ve always had my faith, but it has been stretched beyond belief this last twelve months. I can see where God has wanted me to take my relationship with him to the next level, and I have. I’ve been brought to a place now where I feel there is no way out, except through Christ, so I am in waiting… I believe I’m exactly where he wants me.
Thanks so much for the words of encouragement above. It’s been a painful, sometimes very scary journey, but I can see and feel how much I’ve grown spiritually, and for that I am very thankful. I really enjoyed the wisdom of comparing your baby to how God sees us. I think you are exactly right!!
Thank you for putting this together. It really helped me tonight!! :)
Blessings Abound,
Carrie
Dear Mike, thanks for the post! If possible just pray for me as I am taking up a new path in my life so as to be successful. I hope through my success I will find my lost passion, once again and will contribute to the society as well.
Dear Mike, thanks for the post! If possible just pray for me as I am taking up a new path in my life so as to be successful. I hope through my success I will find my lost passion once again, and will contribute to the society as well.
This is so uplifting.
I was just led to ‘google’ up anything on encouragement based on the word of God and
this caught my attention.
I am a believer in Jesus Christ and I have faced many trials and come through.
The ‘good news’ is that we pass through one, to get to another and have victory again.
I am yet going through another trial again and trusting God for a breakthrough.
Your article has blessed me and I am trusting God to share the news of Victory with you, soon.
Thank you so much.
Blessings,
STJ
What an encouraging story. The things that we take for granted “life” while we are in this world today. I woke up this morning looking for an encouraging word before doing my homework and I came across your story. You are a true inspiration to people and I know God has a purpose for you in this life. Stay strong in your faith, don’t let the enemy pull you down. Blessings for you and your family…
Thank you. I think you are an inspired and gifted encourager and I am greatful to hear these words today.
I just read your article and it is so encouraging and timely. In the last month I have been studying and learning alot about maturing in Christ. I’ve realized how that usually happens is by trials and suffering. Fun wow! But it really does strengthen us when we look back. The bible verses I have really been hanging on to in the last few months are James 1v2, Romans5v3,4,5 and Prov.3v5,6, also psalm23v3,4. When we don’t understand and want our own way we have to keep trusting that God knows best and see’s the whole picture…that is why I love the illustration you gave about your infant son! That is such an encouraging picture and thank you for using your gift of writing to bless others!
Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s so inspring and uplifting. I have been struggling with a lung disease for years already and i managed to be brave at least in front of people but lately it changed. I can’t accept it anymore.Can’t see any meaning in all of this and it’s so hard to trust that God really knows what’s best for us. I searched for some encouragement today and i found this page. It was a great help. God bless you!